Preface: Is Sexual attraction really a Love? Can you differentiate between Love and Sexual Attraction along with analysis of both situations? It is need of the time. In the teen age, youngsters often attract towards each other. A good looking face, smart guy, costly mobiles, long drive on motorbikes & motorcars, expansive shopping at shopping malls, night club parties, fashionable apparels etc. are the high expecting dreams of teenagers. These things may attract some body at the first instance but we did not apply our mind to think what is wrong or right. The basic reason is that we attract towards these material things without making any analysis of this attraction. Even most of the teenagers do not shy to accept sex before marriage. They treat with sex just like as a play without bothering worst consequences. Attraction towards good looking faces, smart way of talking by some body, girls indulge in modern life style is just starting of a blunder mistake which after wards turns your whole life in to darkness.
Now-a-days, it becomes a culture that youngsters studying in universities or colleges and adults working in the offices attracts towards somebody having opposite sex of them due to various reasons. They think that they fall in love with that person and their mind stop thinking about all other things but only that person. Mostly person fails to identify that it is not a perfect love and do the common mistake.
Youngsters like to wear fancy cloths and indulge themselves in the life style of fashion to look smart and beautiful. Boys used to purchase expansive and branded clothes to impress to the girls to whom they like. Girls spent more than half a day to wear designer clothes, make-up their faces, designing and shading the hairs, to wear costly jewellery etc. instead of spending their valuable time in other useful activities. I am not straight forward criticizing these things, but I want to say that these activities should be done in a restrictive manner. By this article, I just want to indulge everybody (mainly the youngsters) in to the deep study of Love and Sexual attraction, which I think, may help us to control the increasing crime rate in our Country. It is need of the time to think over this issue by the youngsters, who themselves are the main victims of the today’s crimes.
Sexual Appeal & Meaning of Love:
Do you know what Love is? Sexual attraction is not love at all. Love is meant to understand the other, to help the other, to sacrifice everything for somebody else, to lose the game of life for others, to surrender our self physically and psychologically in the custody of another person, to stop using the mind & to start listening to our heart only, to adjust with another, to add somebody in to your thoughts, mind and in your whole life. Love is meant that you & your love are one but all things may or may not happen in the case of sexual attraction. You may attract towards a beautiful looking girl or a smart guy or somebody may attract towards you due to your good features. But this attraction turns in to love or not, it cannot be said in plain words at the first instance. Mostly we fail to make a difference between love and sexual attraction, which results in to dire consequences. It is not necessary for a boy that he will love to a beautiful girl, a modern girl, a girl influenced by the European culture or girl wearing transparent clothes or short skirts but he may attracts sexually towards her. This is the same case for girls also and it is not necessary that a girl must love to a boy who is smart & young, a boy wearing branded clothes, a boy having expansive motorbike or car but she may also attracts sexually towards his good looking body physique. The philosophy of Love is totally different. Increasing tendency of marriage breakdowns and other related crimes & issues can be controlled by this study. The Society can be saved to be ruin in the colours of marriage breakdowns and other related issues.
The inability of differentiation between Love and Sexual Attraction is affecting the society in many ways. One is more and more people are becoming victims of this disease, second is the purity of Love is lessening day by day. Love cannot be compared by shrink values. The place of theory of Love is very high. You may love to any person i.e. your life partner, your parents, your Childs, your assets & property etc. In case of Love with your life partner, you must be sure that it should be pure love only and not just sexual attraction. Sexual attraction may turns in to love but only after passing a long time.
Love at first Sight: Normally it is presumed that we cannot forget our first love, I want to add in these lines that it must be love and love only and not the sexual attraction. Whenever we see a new face and attracts towards him/ her due to his/ her good appearance or good way of talking, we assumes that we fall in love at first sight, but it not so. We attracted towards that person only due to the good looking features or good personality of that person. According to my views, you cannot love a person without understanding him/ her. Until and unless you did not spent some time with other, did not try to understand that other person and did not have any feeling of sacrifice for that other person to whom your heart claims to be your love, love may not happen in actual.
Inability to differentiate Love and sexual attraction: There are several reasons, which make us unable to differentiate between love and sexual attraction. One is teen age and second is lack of control on our mind. It is very clear that we are not fully able to take the important decisions of our life at teen age and very often we do the common mistake. We have a little experience of life at our teen age and our mind is not static. We fail to check that what is right or wrong due to immaturity.
Some Guys, Girls ruin their carrier due to this immaturity and due to any mistake done in the influence of love, which is sexual attraction only and not love in actual.
Work place environments: Sexual attraction is main root cause of sexual harassment at work place also. In today work places, men and women are working together at the same offices and mostly women so working are victims of the sexual harassment at work place. Even some people did not want to understand that “yes means yes” & “no means no” and they engaged to exploit to the women and takes undue benefit of their dominion position. Modesty is the property of the women and no one is allowed to outrage the modesty of any women. The same is punishable also under sec – 354 of IPC.
Social Approach: Marriage breakdowns, extra marital affairs, love affairs prior to marriage and sex before marriage, live in relationships etc are some factors which defame our self in the society. There is a steep rise in the cases of mental tension, depression, heart attack, suicides etc due to the above factors. These factors degrade one person or his/ her family in the society.
Rising in marriage breakdown: According to the govt. data, divorcee cases/ marriage breakdown cases increased in multiple no’s in last few years. Love marriages are more prone to these accidents. This does not mean that I am against the love marriages, but the decision taken hastily by the youngsters without applying any practical mind results in to failure of marriages. Although the situation is more adverse in the arrange marriages. No chance to understand your partner prior to your marriage have many cons. Surrender yourself to a stranger for the whole life may turns your life in to worst situations.
Live in relationship & same sex marriage: My theory without touching these topics is incomplete. Sometimes I compelled to think that, “weather we are moving in a right direction”? The answer is not so simple and it needs a separate study in detail and covers many aspects of wrong evils of our society. Here I want to make a brief reference to this approach. Live in relationship, same sex marriage, sex before marriages are on high demands by new generations. Youth is agitating on roads to legalize these acts throughout the India. Is it right direction? Is it our culture? Should we move ahead in this direction by labelling this as a modern society or the demand of open mind society? Youngsters want to live in boundryless society, but by this they are giving birth to many other worst evils in the same society. How can these new issues be settle, it is debateable on the national table.
Sexual Education: It is the need of the time to provide the sexual education along with psychological aspect to the youngsters which makes them enable to differentiate between right or wrong. Sexual education helps to the youngsters to save themselves from serious diseases related to sexual problems, AIDS etc and give awareness on the related issues.
Legal Approach: Inability of making differentiation between love and sexual attraction give births to many wrong evils, which results in to crimes. Sexual harassment at workplace, acid attack, outraging of modesty, marriage breakdowns, illegitimate Childs and issues related to their legitimacy & their property rights, suicide cases etc are all by-products of this inefficiency or immaturity. If we try to understand this concept and make our society enable to understand this philosophy, then we can curb crimes up to some extent. But there is much need of work to be done in this direction. We should arrange national seminars & group discussions in the Colleges, provide sexual education with psychological aspect to the youngsters, make our laws more stringent to nail these issues.
These are my personal views and I want national attention on this issue.
Dimple Jindal (Advocate)
(M.B.A, LL.B, B.Com)
Distt. Courts, Barnala.
Mobile - +919872578325
Email: - email@example.com
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